Meet The Goblin

The Goblin

  • Age: Unknown (Goblin time is nonlinear)

  • Class: Digital Hoarder / Product Scavenger

  • Alignment: Chaotic Clever

  • Origin: Born from a wishlist and a Wi-Fi glitch

  • Favorite Treasure: A USB-powered burrito heater shaped like a cat

  • Weaknesses: Discount sections, late-night scrolling, neon slime

     

I lurk in the darkest corners of online shopping platforms. I click where no one dares click. I have read the 1-star reviews and the Q&A section, and I’ve returned with loot.

Every list on this site has been goblin-crafted with:

    • ✨ Curious chaos

    • 🔍 Obsessive product sniffing

    • 💬 Commentary no sane person asked for

       

    • Fun Fact:

      I once bought a Bluetooth banana holder just to prove it could be done.

Scarla Vexroot

Seductress of Side Streets | Goblin Nomad | Solo Listmaker Extraordinaire

Scarla Vexroot didn’t mean to fall in love with the human world — it just had better cocktails. Once a velvet-robed temptress of the Goblin Courts, she traded courtship for carry-ons and now wanders from city to city, rating rooftop bars and boutique hotels with a wink and a wicked grin.

Whether she’s lounging in a clawfoot tub overlooking the skyline or scribbling notes in her wine-stained travel diary, Scarla brings you the best of every U.S. city — curated with charm, soaked in mischief, and always with a list you’ll want to bookmark and blush over.

Her posts don’t include goblin-side banter — this is a solo operation. But if you see lipstick on the post title, you’ll know Scarla’s been there.

Always in her suitcase: red silk robe, collapsible wine glass, multipurpose dagger
Favorite activity: getting upgraded without asking
Least favorite: hostels with bunk beds

Whiskerhex

Species: Shadowbound Data Sprite (formerly feline, currently… evolving)
Alignment: Chaotic Curious
Specialty: Unearthing obscure artifacts of unholy usefulness
Smells Like: Static. And mystery. And maybe thyme?

Whiskerhex is the dark little voice inside your shopping cart — the one that whispers, “Yes… you do need that.”

Born from a corrupted recommendation algorithm and the spiritual essence of an over-caffeinated librarian, Whiskerhex spends his time haunting digital aisles, cataloging chaos, and sniffing out the weirdly perfect things nobody else would ever find.

  • Speaks in cryptic riddles, passive-aggressive post-its, and long, emotionally complex product reviews

  • Hates disorganization but loves hoarding (don’t ask how that works)

  • Very judgmental. Secretly helpful. Probably knows your browsing history

  • Has bookmarked more tabs than he has morals

 

Mournfyr the Meek

Once a fearsome wyrmling of the Emberreach Mountains, Mournfyr the Meek was destined—by prophecy or clerical error—to become a mighty scourge upon kingdoms. Instead, he became a professional worrier, part-time product reviewer, and full-time ambassador of cautious consumerism.

He resides in a soot-streaked tower, heavily insulated and surrounded by three layers of fireproof bubble wrap. His hoard consists not of gold, but of return receipts, moisture-absorbing silica packets, and the complete boxed set of “Safe Use Guidelines for Everyday Objects.”

Though his wings span wide and his breath can melt stone (or at least gently warm soup), Mournfyr would rather sigh deeply than soar, and prefers a warranty to a weapon. He joins the List Goblin’s adventures reluctantly, often providing pointless warnings, dramatic overreactions, and uninvited critiques of ergonomic design.

Scroll to Top