7 Things TikTok Made Me Buy (That I Actually Loved)
The Goblin swore he wouldn’t fall for it. He did. Seven times.
TikTok is a slippery trapdoor. One second you're watching a deep-fried cereal hack, and the next you’ve ordered something that glows, spins, or vibrates for reasons you barely understand. But sometimes? The scroll is good. Sometimes it brings you gifts.
1. Mini Bag Sealer
This unholy artifact reseals chip bags with heat. No more sad stale Doritos. You just slide it across the top of your snack and BAM—freshness sealed like a dragon’s vault. The Goblin uses it daily. Mostly on marshmallows. Don’t judge me.
Seal My Snacks2. Sunset Projection Lamp
TikTok made this thing look like an emotional support glow orb. AND IT IS. Aim it at your wall and suddenly your cave feels like an indie film set in Elven Paris. Relaxing, romantic, and just barely pretentious. Scarla stole mine. I’m not over it.
Light Me Up3. Frog Phone Stand
Is it useful? Yes. Is it adorable? Aggressively. This little frog cradles your phone like a tiny green butler while you watch videos, scroll spells, or ignore incoming calls. It makes zero sense and yet? Sparks genuine joy. 10/10 desk goblin.
Get the Frog4. Electric Milk Frother Wand
This cursed whisk turned me into a barista against my will. Lattes, matcha, potion foam—it froths everything like it owes you money. I now judge coffee without foam. I am changed. I am powerful. I am mildly over-caffeinated.
Froth Like a Goblin5. Toilet Night Light
A glowing reminder that even bathroom breaks can be magical. This LED light slots into your toilet and lights up when you walk in like a majestic, mildly unhinged night lamp. Goblin green, of course. Bathroom dignity: restored.
Glow the Throne6. Reusable Under-Eye Gel Pads
TikTok promised these would “revive your face like a phoenix rising.” I’m not sure about that, but I *did* stop looking like I hadn’t slept since the Third Goblin War. Stick ‘em in the fridge. Plop ‘em on your face. Magic in moist form.
Depuff My Soul7. Lazy Arm Phone Mount
Attach this bendy arm to your bed or desk, and your phone floats in front of your face like a personal screen golem. No more neck strain. No more phone face drops. Just pure unbothered lounging. True goblin comfort.
Mount My ScreenTikTok has drained wallets, ruined sleep schedules, and convinced many to eat raw garlic on camera. But these 7 items? These made me feel seen. And very, very comfortable.